It wasn’t until the third day of the attack that we realised we were even under attack. For the first two days we all saw the Perseid meteor shower through our telescopes and marveled at the beauty of the light show. And then they landed. They were huge, tentacled creatures with mandibles: razor sharp and fearsome. We fled our homes and our roots, becoming nomads in our bid to survive. Revelations did not prepare us for this.
For those of you reading this who were not yet born at this time, you need to understand that this was the ultimate wake up call. Many of our communities were Christian and attended services regularly and carried out good works as instructed. Others were Muslim and observed Ramadan and answered the call to prayer several times daily. Those of our communities who were Jewish understood the Torah and followed it’s instructions to the letter. These were the people who went first.
Probability suggests that our community harboured Atheists too, they went fairly quietly. Oddly, we didn’t see the now obvious pattern of those who were taken. Mainly because that pattern didn’t make sense – those who believed in their One True God were not swept away on wings of angels; they were simply eaten. Having no faith did not make anyone immune. It was a nonsensical situation – we had no idea who was right and, honestly, we figured the Atheists were correct and it didn’t matter because we were all doomed.
And then she came. She banded us together and explained the common thread that bound us all together. It wasn’t until she laid out the facts that we all realised what we had buried in our subconscious; she brought out the information we needed and made us into a community. Although the creatures had spared us at first, once their food supply ran out they would turn on the rest of us. And, crazily, this made a lot of sense, as much sense as anything could in that new, insane, twisted world. She told us what we needed to do, who we needed to become so that we could survive for our Master. She explained how we Satanists became and how and why we survived.
This is the story of how our world arose and how Miley Cyrus saved us all.